Well how quickly time flies when you’re head first in a toilet bowl! Just as Im starting to feel into my pregnancy, I quickly flick to Baby Centre to see that I am 6 months along.
I’m starting to feel the magic now, how often the baby moves warms me and allows me to connect with its cute little kicky legs! Which is fab because its been a tough 6 months and knowing that this little beb is healthy and happy makes it all so worth while!
As you may have noticed, I’m a bit of an open book. Many have said its my weakness but I proudly call it my strength. I don’t feel the need to be silent, to avoid judgement but I really enjoy using my voice to show women that life isn’t always peaches & cream but it doesn’t have to be the dictator of my happiness.
I believe we live in a society where social media and social pressure forces us believe that we have to present a false reality of our lives to make others think we are better, that we are richer, that we are more successful than them. Its bullshit. Total bullshit. When we start not giving a shit what others think and focusing our attention on what matters most, what we think of ourselves and our own personal acceptance then that’s when the good shit really manifests.
So Im going to tell you that mega bad reflux, severe constipation, night insomnia, horrific Carpel Tunnel syndrome, daily morning sickness, never ending tiredness and hormonal freak outs (sorry Ben) are all apart of it for me. All that plus the forever ongoing shit that is my weight loss surgery, its been enough to almost break me. And Ive been through enough shit to be pretty solid but Ive been close to not being ok.
So my saving grace has been my ability to listen to what I need. I needed to be quiet, to rest and to take solace in my own space and time.
Also my rock and the love of my life, Ben who I am grateful for every day. Every day he shows me that he loves me. It might not be in the words, which he seems so bad at saying out loud but I see it in other ways.. like the folded pyjamas and Ugg boots waiting out for me on my bed when I get home, the back rub while I’m spewing, all his insane domestic skills – doing all the cooking and cleaning, doing 8 loads of my washing and categorising all the folding for me.
Gratitude is also what’s saved me. Seeing the amazingness in life’s beauty balances out the tough bits and I am so grateful for the life I live. Im so excited for these next 4 months, settling into our new home and nesting up a storm, enjoying the quiet time with Ben and the abilities I still have like being spontaneous and being unattached from a little one.
There is so much wonder in this business that allows me to pour my love and soul into something every day and to watch it grow and manifest.
I am excited for 2018, to work on simplifying my life, focusing on what makes me happy and who makes me happy xx